I wrote this 5-page scene for the Creative Screenwriting 2009 Cyberspace Open. It was a time-based writing competition in which contestants had 48 hours to write a 5-page scene based on a premise offered by the judges.
I worked pretty hard on the entry, but scored only an 89; a score of 91 or higher was required to move on to the next round. Looking back, this was an okay piece, but it’s not my best work. I’m posting it more so that any interest readers can see the change between this and successive scenes.
Here’s the entry I received for the Fall 2009 Contest:
Your PROTAGONIST’S allies have turned on him (or her.) His reputation is now in tatters, largely due to his own screw-up — which has been magnified and broadcast by the ANTAGONIST. Write the scene in which the protagonist tries to win the allies back. The scene should include a heartfelt mea culpa. You may use any setting, era or characters in addition to the ones indicated, as needed.
Here’s the scene:
FADE IN:
INT. NORTHPORT PD INTERROGATION ROOM – NIGHT
TED WARMS (43,) slumps in a chair. His left wrist is shackled to a thick plate bolted to the dented table top. In bare feet, he wears a bathrobe, pajama bottoms and a T-shirt with the Dalai Lama’s serene face. His right hand fiddles with a salt-and-pepper ponytail.
He sits up straight when the door opens to admit ERNIE ASTORIA (56,) a burly man who clearly loves to smile, and PATTY CAIN (35,) a curvy, petite woman who does not. Astoria carries a large brown bag, they both wear detectives’ badges. Astoria sits as Patty observes her reflection in the two-way glass.
More Gaudy Patter 