When there’s time, I’ll grab a cup of coffee before I get on the train. Today, I was behind a young woman who knew she wanted a bagel. And perhaps, her own name.
I looked at the clock on the wall: 8:09. Express trains leaving in 4 and 10 minutes.
“I got sesame, cinnamon-raisin, poppy, everything –”
“Wait, what’s on that one?”
As the counter man deconstructed the Everything Bagel for our bright young professional, I realized the cashier was idle. Behind me, several restless people had noticed the same thing.
A thirtyish guy in a bike helmet who will absolutely grow up to be the father from Calvin & Hobbes rolled his bike back and forth as a woman behind him blew her bangs out of her eyes after each deep sigh. Behind her, a grown man switched his briefcase from hand to hand, dropped his shoulders and started doing the Pee-pee Dance.
Just as Bagel Girl paid for the exotic new baked good she’ll be talking about for weeks, Calvin’s Dad leaned in and said in my face, “I want a small coffee.”
He began wheeling his bike over, but I stepped in front of him. When he stopped short, the bike helmet slid down over his eyes a bit.
“Medium coffee, blueberry muffin, please,” I said to the counter man. When I looked over my shoulder, the biker was shooting daggers.
“Wasn’t exactly Gone With The Wind, now, was it?” I said, handing the cashier a bill.
More Gaudy Patter 
I count two rude people in your story, yourself and “Calvin’s Dad”. Can you figure out why?
Please, enlighten us.
Every person is a beautiful and unique snowflake. When they are behind you and only ordering a small coffee, their time is CLEARLY more valuable than yours.
The only thing more annoying than a person at the front of a line being oblivious to the people waiting on their actions is the person that feels somehow entitled to skip ahead in that line.